November 28, 2007

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November 27, 2007

Now you don’t have to read the last Harry Potter book, part 7

My copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
is 965 pages--pages I'd rather skip--but since I really want to
find out what happened, I'm going to finish the series. Here are the
next three chapters in my concise summary of the book, so you don't
have to read it.

Chapter 19

Ron is lead by a mysterious light to rejoin Harry, whom Ron saves from drowning. Ron also finds the sword of Gryffindor and destroys the Horcrux. Then, they talk about all this with Hermione for 10 pages.

Chapter 20

Ron catches Harry and Hermione up on the latest wizard news, then they all visit the Lovegoods to find out more about the symbol of the Deathly Hallows.

Chapter 21

Harry, Ron, and Hermione spring a trap at the Lovegoods, but not before they listen to tales about the Deathly Hallows. Somewhere mid-chapter, they discuss wand lengths in a thinly-veiled penis-size joke.

November 25, 2007

Roadnotes: Portland

I went to Portland to play video games.

Really. I've been working a lot of hours and I needed a total geek break, so that's all I did all weekend, thanks to my sister who can be just as obsessive as I am sometimes (and who also makes a terrific grilled cheese sandwich).

I did take a break from gaming to meet up with Spilt >Milk, who hosted a crazy-fun hangout (chronicled somewhat here and here), but otherwise my time was focused on ignoring work I brought with me, rescuing a Jedi named Bastila, becoming the best duelist on Taris, learning and playing an alien card game, and finding a way through a Sith blockade.

So, yeah. I was busy.

To the following, it was great to meet you: F.R.A.N.I., off the heezy fo sheezy, britta, Thad, armatronix, and numerous individuals of the hosts' entourage (family).

And to the following, it was great to see you again: Spilt >Milk, my sister, A, Lavell, and Robin (the last two didn't make it to Spilt's but I did manage to see them over food).

Spilt and F.R.A.N.I. - Thanks so much for hosting and for picking up a very good Scotch!

Now I'm back in Seattle and ready to work hard for one week. Next stop: San Francisco (this coming weekend).

November 19, 2007

Dogboy Lives!

Dogboy returns with his own Web site: AdventuresOfDogboy.com!

Adventures of Dogboy is a community project run by me. Its purpose is to defeat the horrors of meaningless Mondays. There is an Art page for people who create Dogboy art. There are also numerous Dogboy stories that have been written by people like YOU*--these stories will be posted on future Mondays.

Now you have a reason to get up on Monday: to read the latest Adventures of Dogboy story. That's right. A Dogboy story comes out every Monday.

Pop quiz, hot shot: Dogboy comes out on a certain day. Which day is it?**




* Not just like you, actually, because you are unique. No one in the universe could ever be just like you, you spectacular individual, you.

** Hint: the answer is not "Drive a bus at speeds over 55mph."

November 16, 2007

Now you don’t have to read the last Harry Potter book, part 6

My copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is 965 pages--pages I'd
rather skip--but since I really just want to find out what happened,
I'm going to finish the series. Here are the next three chapters in my
concise summary of the book, so you don't have to read it.

Chapter 16

Harry's been wanting to go to Godric's Hollow for 400 pages. He finally goes there.

Chapter 17

Harry and Hermione are attacked by a snake but escape anyway--at the expense of Harry's wand, which is broken in the confusing battle. The battle would have been less confusing (and much more exciting) had Harry not been in a magical stupor/dream the whole time. As it is, this fight sequence comes across as a bad description of a drug trip.

Chapter 18

Harry reads an entire chapter of a book.

November 14, 2007

Now you don’t have to read the last Harry Potter book, part 5

My copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is 965 pages--pages I'd
rather skip--but since I really just want to find out what happened,
I'm going to finish the series. Here are the next three chapters in my
concise summary of the book, so you don't have to read it.

Chapter 13

After 340 pages, something finally happens! Harry, Ron, and Hermione steal the horcrux from inside the Ministry! Of course, I am still trying to remember what it is and why they need it because despite this book's excessive length, it hasn't managed to fill me in on that (perhaps it's my fault I can't remember anything that happened in the last book except Dumbledore dying like a wimp)

Chapter 14

Harry has a dream that doesn't make sense (for about the fifth time in the book).

Chapter 15

Ron and Harry have a fight over -- surprise -- they have a fight over how they never do anything. Ron goes home.

November 12, 2007

Now you don’t have to read the last Harry Potter book, part 4

My copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is 965 pages--pages I'd
rather skip--but since I really just want to find out what happened,
I'm going to finish the series. Here are the next three chapters in my
concise summary of the book, so you don't have to read it.

Chapter 10

Harry Potter rummages around in Grimmauld Place, an old hideout of the Order of the Phoenix. He finds nothing.

Chapter 11

Harry, Ron, and Hermione continue hanging out in Grimmauld Place, doing nothing. Harry is mean to their only two visitors: Lupin and Mundungus.

Chapter 12

Harry, Ron, and Hermione actually do something, and by "something", I mean they sneak into the Ministry of Magic's headquarters. However, their sneaky plan takes so long that the chapter ends before anything cool happens.

November 07, 2007

Now you don’t have to read the last Harry Potter book, part 3

My copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is 965 pages--pages I'd
rather skip--but since I really just want to find out what happened,
I'm going to finish the series. Here are the next three chapters in my
concise summary of the book, so you don't have to read it.

Chapter 7

Harry Potter opens birthday presents, makes out with Ginny, and then makes out with a snitch left to him through Dumbledore's will.

Chapter 8

A decidedly ordinary wedding and celebration drones on for 20 pages before an exciting message is delivered: "The ministry [of Magic] has fallen." The chapter ends.

Chapter 9

The wedding celebration is crashed by Death Eaters, but Harry, Ron, and Hermione escape lickety-split. Harry gets a headache, for the second or third time already in this book.

November 06, 2007

I was in drag for Halloween (pictures!)

...and I was wearing a Clarissa original. It's a beautiful dress, and is a fine example of the work Clarissa does.

(I know I usually don't advertise services on my blog, but I absolutely love this designer's work, and I commissioned a dress from her specifically for my night in drag--so I'm going to show it off!)



Need a dress for a special night out? Clarissa's work is amazing, and way cheaper than [insert famous fashion designer name here].



I can't recommend her enough, but I'll quit now because anyone can see from the picture that her work is exquisite. If you're interested in a dress, contact Clarissa here.

(Oh yeah--she also helps people without fashion sense shop for clothes, and has been very successful at turning clueless men into hot items overnight!)

November 03, 2007

Now you don't have to read the last Harry Potter book, part 2

My copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is 965 pages--pages I'd rather skip--but since I really just want to find out what happened, I'm going to finish the series. Here are the next three chapters in my concise summary of the book, so you don't have to read it.

Chapter 4

The wizards spend six pages discussing a simple plan to move Harry Potter to a safer place. Then, Harry spends nine pages crashing a motorcycle.

Chapter 5

Apparently, some wizard I can't remember from previous Harry Potter books dies. The remaining wizards drink.

Chapter 6

Harry, Ron, and Hermione do chores.