February 17, 2009

Before You Scoff...

When you scoff at all the ridiculous people who don't know any better, it appears to them as though you're one of those ridiculous people who don't know any better, and to top things off, you're scoffing.

February 12, 2009

A Conversation I Almost Had

Aaron Dietz: Hi, this is Aaron Dietz, returning your call about [such-and-such].

Nigh-Conversator: Hi. Thanks for calling me back.

AD: No problem. I wanted to [such-and-such], so, is this a good time to talk?

NC: I'm actually on the other line, sorry. Can I call you back?

AD: Sure. I'm actually relieved, because I didn't really have the time to talk, either. You see, I'm on another line, too.

NC: Why would you call someone else if you were already on another line and couldn't talk?

AD: Probably for the same reason you picked up my call while you were on another line and couldn't talk.

NC: Pavlovian instinct?

AD: [Drools]

NC: Well, I'm glad we had this talk.

AD: Yes. We've cleared up a few things. 'Gotten some things figured out.

NC: [Drools]

AD: [Drools]


February 08, 2009

I'm Being Taught in New York

My first book, Reserved for Emperors is being taught in New York, which fulfills a miraculous prophecy emitted by Fantastic H, herself.

She once said to me, "You will be studied," and then--BAM!

This puts Fantastic H right up there with Pop Conspiracy in the rankings of People Who Have Pretty Much Basically Sold My Book to a Lot of People.

And, in other news, I'm writing for TheNervousBreakdown.com, now. My first piece is here: Hooray, I Don't Make Toothpaste.

February 06, 2009

OMG, 25 OMG Things About, Zomg, Me.

No, there aren't 25 things about me here. And I tag all of you in spirit because you're all in this, whether you want to be or not.

Equal rights.

Economic crisis.

* Title of this blog stolen with permission from Wise Majestic Sharna of the Winds.