September 10, 2007

I gambled and won

I called it my anti-suicide plan.

Over two years ago, I found that the only work I could get was uninspiring and made me wish I was dead, so instead of disemboweling myself, I walked out on my temp job at The Corporation and quit working altogether. That was in the fall of 2005.

I went back to school for the sole purpose of using financial aid money to pay rent. I lived off of school loans and credit cards and a few small commissions and freelance contracts. I wasn't always happy, but I didn't wish myself dead anymore and I was more prolific in my writing than ever before.

I traveled more than I should have and spent a good deal of money on organic food. On top of that, I went to a school that costs around twenty grand per year. When I graduated this past June, I had racked up a total debt of about eighty grand. My cards were maxed. There was no more financial aid coming in. My plan was failing.

The situation was severe. On the day I decided I'd have to sell my LEGOs and my 1974 Fender Precision bass (it used to be my aunt's) and my mom's 1969 Contessa guitar (these were the last of my valuable possessions), I got an email from a friend that said he was hiring.

Now, here's my situation:

1. I work at a place where they play with LEGOs during team meetings and jam to Guitar Hero II during breaks.
2. I moved a few blocks from my new job and now I can see the water and mountain sunsets from my fourth floor studio.
3. My expensive education at Antioch transformed me into a better person and I continue to be enriched by the perspective I earned--it was worth every penny.
4. Having spent most of my time over the last two and some years writing, I've developed into a better writer and learned a lot about the publishing world, too.

So...I got lucky. I'm grateful. I escaped something that wouldn't have been pleasant. I gambled and won.

(Coming up next: newly-discovered features on both Macs and PCs can help you save time!)


Shamus said...


Now that I am suitably composed, I must say I'm very happy for you. Please, no more thoughts of disemboweling.

aaaaaaron said...

Ah, I'm too sissy for disemboweling, anyway....