April 12, 2006

How To Tell If You Are In A Bad Coffee Shop

1. They have a bunch of mugs, t-shirts and other crap that you can buy.

2. They pipe in corporate music. Evil! Make sure your coffee shop plays actual CDs or mixes from someones mp3 player.

3. It closes before 9pm. Even closing as early as nine is suspect, but places that close at nine can on occasion still be awesome (mind you - just barely). If they close at 4:30pm, that is a dead giveaway that they suck.

4. The employees wear uniforms. This means that their baristas all make the drinks the same exact way which also means that there is no art being put into the beverage. A seriously awesome barista should not have to wear a uniform - they are artists!

5. You have to tell them when you want it in a mug. Some evil places dont even have a mug as an option and others will still put it in a paper cup even if you tell them its for here. They would rather destroy the environment than wash a few dishes. No, a good place will take pride in allowing you to drink your coffee the right way: in a mug.

Coming soon: The good thing about Starbucks (yes, it is about time I got around to trashing them)!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

A-fucking-men!