I'm trying to watch my language these days

I've been reading a lot of feminist material lately and some of it points out how sexism is inherent in the language we use. I've particularly become aware of the swear words I use, like bitch, cunt, and motherfucker, for example. Why must my swearing call a person's gender into question? It doesn't have to, and most of the time, it shouldn't.



So, I'm trying to replace my swearing vocabulary with gender-free terms. Instead of "motherfucker" I'm trying to use "fuckhead," for example. This is tough because fuckhead has an entirely different feel to it. It practically requires me to restructure entire sentences in which swearing will be employed.



Still, I do it anyway. I say "fuckhead" because I care.

Grunting is the new hello

As I was leaving my apartment building the other day, someone was coming in the door.



"Hello," I said. (I'm friendly that way.)



In response, she grunted at me.



These young kids and their new forms of communication! It's hard to keep up sometimes.

Grunting is the new hello

As I was leaving my apartment building the other day, someone was coming in the door.



"Hello," I said. (I'm friendly that way.)



In response, she grunted at me.



These young kids and their new forms of communication! It's hard to keep up sometimes.

Three Ways to Simplify Your Life

1. When you scrub your hair in the shower, make sure to use your fingernails. If you scrub with tenacity, your hair will slide between fingernail and finger, where dirt hides, and: Wallah! Now your fingernails are clean!



2. Get rid of your socks. Buy 21 pairs of the same sock and forget about matching them when you do laundry. In fact, forget about folding them, too; just put them all in a pile in the same drawer. You save time!



3. Clip your finger and toenails after showering. If you've just taken a nice hot shower, your nails will be soft. This means that when you clip them, they will be less likely to fly all over the room and make a disgusting mess. Yay!







Incidentally, a new Dogboy adventure is up: Dogboy Fills Out An Application!