December 04, 2006

Three Ways to Simplify Your Life

1. When you scrub your hair in the shower, make sure to use your fingernails. If you scrub with tenacity, your hair will slide between fingernail and finger, where dirt hides, and: Wallah! Now your fingernails are clean!

2. Get rid of your socks. Buy 21 pairs of the same sock and forget about matching them when you do laundry. In fact, forget about folding them, too; just put them all in a pile in the same drawer. You save time!

3. Clip your finger and toenails after showering. If you've just taken a nice hot shower, your nails will be soft. This means that when you clip them, they will be less likely to fly all over the room and make a disgusting mess. Yay!

Incidentally, a new Dogboy adventure is up: Dogboy Fills Out An Application!


Joey Polanski said...

If its th same sock, how coud there be 21 pairs of em?

Yeah, ferget that. How coud there be ONE pair of em?

aaaaaaron said...

I must have left out the part about renting a time-space discontinuer. That helps with the sock being in more than one place at the same time.