November 02, 2005

So, I got a roommate

A Russian bride, to be more exact. We've been learning each other's languages when there's time (and let's face it - I don't have any time so it's all up to her, you know). She's terrified of the city because she grew up in Siberia, or some other place, I don't know. So she never leaves the house (did I say house? I meant studio apartment).

Yeah, so except today - I woke up from sleeping in late and she says to me, "I go outside." And I'm like, "Sure, baby, when I get around to it, I'll take you outside." Ha ha! Little did I know, she was trying to tell me that she already WENT outside. It was so cute that she said, "I go outside," and everything and she showed me the receipt she got from buying a muffin at the coffee shop. Oh, I had a good laugh about that one. And then I took away her keys.

Sometimes she speaks to me in Russian and I'm like, "Baby, you know I don't have no time to learn the Russian just yet!" But no, she just keeps shouting things like, "Tern dounthe tea vee!" or "Iyam go wing too bye uh guhnand shoo tyu." I mean seriously, does she think I'm going to pick up the language just because she repeats the words over and over?!

I can hear her now, in the other room, shouting at me even as I watch the Nascar over the clutter of her making so much noise doing the dishes. "Iyate jif gore din!" Where does she get this stuff? Does the Russian language really have so many words?

Now, she's saying, "Iyam nut rush in iyam check is love ockeean." What the fuck?! Hey, I'm just writin' down what the words sound like and maybe you Rooskie readers can do some translatin'.

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