January 23, 2006

Let's do to old people what we do to old elephants! It makes plain sense!

The lovely Cassandra suggested the topic, "Elephants," and even though she did not win any of the choose-my-blog-topic contests, she tried. And sometimes that's all that matters (if you're cute).

So this is where old elephants go: The Elephant Sanctuary.

Can you imagine how much easier it would be to get Gramma and Grampa to go to a home if we called it a sanctuary? And we could describe the place better, too (I'm stealing from the Elephant Sanctuary site, replacing the word "elephant" with "old people"):

The Old People Sanctuary in Hohenwald, Tennessee, is the nation's largest natural-habitat refuge developed specifically to meet the needs of old people. It is a non-profit organization, licensed by the U.S. Department of Agriculture and the Tennessee Wildlife Resources Agency, designed specifically for old, sick or needy people who have been retired from zoos and circuses. Utilizing more than 2700 acres, it provides two separate and protected, natural habitat environments for Asian and African old people. Our residents are not required to perform or entertain for the public; instead, they are encouraged to live like old people.

Phil Snyder, regional director of the Humane Society of the United States has stated, "The Old People Sanctuary represents the future of enlightened captive old people management."

Sounds much better, doesn't it, Gramps?

1 comment:

Joey Polanski said...

I hear th Naskapi have a pretty novel idea fer Gramps.