A Transcript: President Bush's first meeting with advisors after 9-11...

September 11, 2001. This is the transcript of the first official meeting of Bush and his advisors, upon hearing the news of the attacks on the World Trade Center. I have pieced this together from a well-researched source. If you truly want to know what Bush was talking about in his first meeting that day, read on:

PRESIDENT GEORGE BUSH: I'm sure we've all got questions. I've got questions. Let's start with some questions. Anyone want to start?

SALLY MATHESON: Why don't you start, Mr. President?

BUSH: Okay. Well, the first thing that comes to my mind is, how come the caterpillar was so hungry? That darned caterpillar ate up all that stuff. How'd he get so hungry?

BILLY JORGENSEN: My older brother says that when he smokes pot he gets all starving.

BUSH: Yeah, I've uh…I've heard that. Not like cocaine, is it?

JORGENSEN: What’s coke-ane?

BUSH: It's a…it's a special kinda' coke.

MILLIE PETERS: Do you like it?

BUSH: I've uh…I actually don't know what you're talkin' about.

PETERS: About the coke-ane, silly!

BUSH: Yeah, uh…so any more questions about the book? I'd love to talkinate with you all about this here litera-…liter…this here book.

JIMMY DOBBINS: Why are your nose hairs gray?

BUSH: Well, that's a…that's a condition. Er, not a condition except in that it's a condition of bein'. Like bein' a condition. Of age. It's an age thing, you see, when a duck gets old, the gander…uh…when a duck gets old he takes a gander at a goose.

DOBBINS: Is that why hairs grow out of grown-ups' moles?

[SILENCE]

BUSH: Andrew?

CHIEF OF STAFF ANDREW CARD: [UNINTELLIGIBLE WHISPERS]

BUSH: Uh…yes.

RACHEL SMITH: Why do you think the caterpillar was so hungry?

BUSH: Well, I uh…I think he was just concerned, you know. He was thinking of all those other countries out there that might get his food and well…he just…well see, if you count all your chickens and they're hatched, well then shame on you. And if uh…if you count all your chickens and they try to bite you, well then, uh…I can count, if that's what you're asking. If you're asking me, as the president, if I can count, well yes, ma'am, I'll tell you in three words that I can count good.