January 26, 2006

Public Service Announcements: I Am Not A Map

Maps. They were invented long ago, no matter what continent you are talking about. They are usually graphic representations of geographic locations - pretty handy if you want to know how to get from Point A to Point B. I suggest you pick one up if you are unfamiliar with where you are going. These days, you can even look one up on the Internet. Try mapquest.com. Or if you are in Seattle, I think lostinseattle.com is cool. Anyway, maps can help you.

Here is what a map isn't, just in case you are confused. A map is not a six foot tall, short haired, skinny, neurotic, geeky weirdo who walks all over the place because he has no car.

Thanks for listening. I was noticing that a lot of you were confused about this. Maybe now you can get where you're going without pestering me.

One last thing: if you are an unquestioningly attractive, available female, please disregard the above notice. In that one particular instance, I am most certainly a map.


Joey Polanski said...

BTW: A chick who is unquestionINGly atracktive woud hafta be somone who says "Im atracktive, an I have absolutly NO DOUBT about that."

Chick like that coud turn out t be pretty hi-maintenance, Im thinkin.

aaaaaaron said...

Yes, Joey, once again you've proven yourself to be knowledgeable and wise.

Em said...

when i worked for "the man" (read: Starbucks, not The Government) people always thought i was a map. there were some creepy ones who thought i really was a map the way they studied my contour lines. icky perverts.

aaaaaaron said...

Sorry about that. People get all uptight when we systematically eradicate these individuals like vermin.